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Tuesday March 5th 2024

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At Last, Help for Parents Intent on Raising Pirates

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I’ve accepted the fact that there are waaay too many books to read compared to hours in a day. (If anyone would like to join me in petitioning the government to have 72 hour days, just shoot me an e-mail. <g>) But, I reason, just because I probably won’t ever have time to read them, that doesn’t mean I can’t pass on news of the existence of books constantly brought to my attention that I’m sure I would read if time allowed. In this case, the title sure grabbed my attention.

Since you’re reading a feed or a Twitter or are even on a page called “Parent at the Helm,” I figure it’s a very good bet you’ve often wondered about how to go about raising your children to be good pirates. Well, wonder no more!

Tim Bete’s second book on this very important topic is called Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why You Should Raise Your Kids As Pirates, and 101 Tips on How to Do It. Likely a very quick read at just 123 pages, this director of the University of Dayton Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop’s book offers some parenting tips amidst the much more serious work of creating successful young pirates.

From’s product description: “If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates, but just don’t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy The Butcher MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers.”

Among the guidance you’ve been waiting for is information on the difference between plundering and pillaging, how to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner, and which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie.

As someone who writes a blog called Parent at the Helm,I’m sitting here wondering, “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?”

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