Homeschooling Families Are Solving the Problems of School Socialization

Homeschooling Families Are Solving the

Problems of School Socialization

By Linda Dobson

Bonding  is a  nonverbal  form  of  psychological  communication,  an

intuitive rapport that operates outside of or beyond ordinary rational,

linear ways of thinking and perceiving.

– Joseph Chilton Pearce in Magical Child


Relationships are too integral a link in the chain of human lives to be tampered with.

Interest-initiated education, an approach used often by homeschooling families, develops universal life skills, in part, because your child takes just one or a few interests at a time and dives as far to the depths of each as he can handle. The fine art of building relationships, what many mistakenly refer to when they use the term “socialization,” likewise thrives from the focused, in-depth experience available via homeschooliing.

Let’s start from the premise that a child cannot love and respect others if he does not love and respect himself; he cannot bring forth what does not exist inside. With homeschooling attention to personally satisfying living and learning, your child grows receiving a steady supply of internally produced, positive affirmation. Consistently reinforced by experience and the warm, responsive homeschooling environment, he never loses love and respect of self.

Homeschooling Eliminates Through the Irony of School Socialization

Now he’s got something – love and respect. Now he can spread it around! And he will. But consider this societal irony. We give young children a 5-piece puzzle before we throw 200 pieces at them. We let them write a sentence prior to requiring a paragraph. We figure, rightly so, that mastering the relatively simple addition must precede calculus. Yet when it comes to the “S” word – socialization – we practice bigger is best (despite much evidence to the contrary). Our five year-olds (and, in an increasing number of cases, two and three year-olds) must hobnob in a 200 piece social puzzle. Talk about your shock treatments!

If it makes sense to conquer the sentence first, if it makes sense to understand addition before calculus, it’s not that great a leap of logic to conclude that, initially, a smaller socialization puzzle makes sense. The skills of cooperation (working as a team), along with etiquette, give-and-take, and polite conversation, are acquired more easily in the kitchen than on the playground. Here your child gets the time and attention necessary to master the small socialization puzzle, gradually moving on to more challenging encounters in the greater community as she acquires the skills and strength of nervous system to handle more pieces.

The slower, more gentle entry into the art of socialization gives your child a smaller field on which to shower his love and respect. All members of this more manageable field receive a nourishing amount which fills their cups. They may then shower more in return. This rewarding cycle becomes less and less likely as the size of the field the child is expected to cover increases. If the field grows too large prematurely, no recipient gets enough love and respect. They become such scarce commodities there is no love and respect to return, and the nurturing cycle screeches to a halt.

Our institutions still give lip service to the family as the first and most important building block of society. But by destroying the natural cycle of love and respect inherent in family life through their demands that children “socialize” in artificially inflated institutional settings, they are contributing to the destruction of society itself.

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