I’ve been doing a lot of Internet research recently, and I’ve noticed that one’s horoscope seems available at every turn. Whether it’s for the day, week or year, we can find out what’s going to happen to us in love, finances, longevity and likely everything in-between. Everything, that is, except your homeschooling future. If you’ve been searching in vain for your homeschool horoscope, I’m happy to let you know you’ve found it, at last. Please, just remember that if you don’t like what you read, I’m just the messenger.
December 22 – January 20
Symbolized by the goat, probably because you’re so busy running around getting things accomplished, you tend to graze instead of sit down to a regular meal. You should shed those few extra pounds you’ve been worrying about, as the “grazing diet” is on track to become 2010’s flash-in-the-pan weight loss plan!
January 21 – February 19
Resolve this year to hold your imagination in check. Your son is not destined for a career making license plates and your daughter will grow out of the habit of behaving like a dog both at home and in public! It’s fine to stick to your decisions as long as they don’t involve making your child complete every quiz in the 1,000 page text book.
February 20 – March 20
As the first person in line when others need help, guess what? You’re going to be in charge of the 2010 conference and the geography and spelling bees! When those long ten months of planning and organizing are over, treat yourself to a five-minute bubble bath; maybe ten if you lock the door and be sure to show your husband where the first-aid kit is before you get in. You will emerge from the bath energized and ready to calmly handle anything the subsequent emergency room adventure throws at you.
March 21 – April 20
You entered the homeschooling arena with enthusiasm and great passion, laying out goals that took the baby through grad school. However, in 2010 you will discover unschooling and your love of a good challenge will lead you into a bit of a mess with your mother-in-law. Not to worry; your inventive mind allows you to make up so much educationese that you’ll be back in her good graces before the year ends.
April 21 – May 21
Your passion and loyalty to homeschooling is unequalled, which is why you’ll be chosen to speak with the over-bearing principal in your school district. Your stubbornness and determination will, as always, make it impossible for you to understand the viewpoint so different from your own. Naturally, you’ll be quick to forgive the principal for what he said about your mother, and the homeschoolers who subsequently moved out of the district will be back in touch…by e-mail…eventually.
May 22 – June 21
You’re known for your desire to learn, and this will benefit your support group each time “the twins” emerge – as you know they will. This month you’re going classical, next month eclectic, Charlotte Mason the next, then virtual…
By the end of the year, yours will be the best-versed support group in homeschooling options in the country!
June 22 – July 22
The other moms have noticed; no, not that you’re coloring your hair. They’re talking about your extreme patience and nurturing qualities…a lot. Keep alert at gatherings that include everyone’s kids, or you just might eventually look around to find they’ve all gone for coffee knowing the troops are in your good hands. Make sure they bring back a large latte for you!
July 23 – August 23
As a natural born leader, you won’t lose your kids in a museum or apple orchard this year, so go ahead and celebrate by giving a course on “Tuning into Your Child’s Internal GPS.” Try not to become impatient or bossy when your students can’t quite figure out what you mean by a child’s “celestial-karmic-coordinates;” a Garmin GPS from your appreciative class could await you.
August 24 – September 22
You overly sensitive person, you! Your children will love you even more this year if you work on not being the family member who breaks into tears during every field trip. In fact, your field trip companion friends will probably love you more, too.
September 23 – October 22
Are you always searching for a better earth science book, piano teacher, back pack? While you may think your constant search for something better has come up short time and again, it’s all been good and your kids are well on their way to becoming geniuses – or not – remember, it’s all good!
October 23 – November 21
Because you’re both a people magnet and very courageous, just spend the year having fun crossing your eyes and giggling when people in the grocery store ask why your children aren’t in school today. You have travel in your future; make sure you go somewhere you won’t run into any of those people from the grocery store.
November 22 – December 21
You would do well to stop stubbornly believing you know best, especially since your son managed to stuff the cat into your toddler’s glove, proving you totally wrong. In this way, you’ll better enjoy the additional animals that will call your place home this year. Don’t worry; be vacuuming.
Originally appeared in Home Education Magazine